A day before my 40th birthday, a stranger called me, claiming that he worked for one of my close friends. He sought an appointment from me, but refused to disclose the reason for it.
I found this request rather strange.
Although my friend was wealthy, he had always demonstrated humility and was known for his down-to-earth behavior, without the usual flashy opulence present in those circles. Therefore, this man’s insistence to meet me and his refusal to divulge the reason why, was something I found suspicious.
The man came to my office, and revealed a paper with a list of around 200 philanthropic causes.
My friend wanted to give me a unique gift - he would donate his money to a cause of my choice. The money would go from his account ... but in my name !
I was moved & thought - what a fascinating gift, very befitting for some of us, whom God has blessed with all that we want. We can surely do with less, so that someone else can get a share of those blessings.
I realized then that this gift was of more value than anything material that he might have given me instead.
I decided to pick my pick with utmost responsibility.
I looked at the paper & went down the list - I was flummoxed, to say the least, with each cause seemingly more pertinent than the one before. It was a heartbreaking process to choose just one of them.
The guy sensed my internal conflict & said "Take your time, pick any one & the needful will be done."
It is on that day that I realized how easy it is to ask for money, but also how difficult it is to give it away.
We seem to measure these values differently. When one wants help, one usually knows where exactly to go - the options can be counted using a single hand : parent, uncle, friend, colleague or boss. Hard stop.
But if one wants to give, it’s not easy at all since there are so many who need help – should one provide for the old parents abandoned by their children or to the young infants that lost their parents to fate?
For war widows or the policemen maimed in a riot?
For the mentally challenged or the physically disabled?
Or how about – should we save the Amazon forest from lumberjacks, or the disappearing ice poles due to global warming?
Adjusted for time against value of money, John D. Rockefeller was the wealthiest man in the world. He got so rich that it was said that if he dropped a $100 bill, picking it up would almost be futile for him, as he would have already earned that amount through his investments in the time it took to bend down and reach for the money.
But the man had a conscience & so got sick of the excesses that life had bestowed upon him. He became one of the largest donors.
He soon realized that he was doing more harm than good with his giving aways in wild abandon.
He had famously then exclaimed that “Charity is injurious unless it helps the recipient to become independent of it” !
And so I realized that :
* Charity should be less of an emotional outpouring & more of a deeply considered act.
* It is better to reward the deserving than just help the needy.
* To make a difference, it is better to fall (like in love) for some cause, than stand for many.
In the final reckoning, I would conclude, to each their own for choice of charity - do fall for your personal cause.
But if done without due diligence & care, one may achieve the opposite of the intent - charity is a sin, if it reduces the self-dignity of the recipient.
For a very different reason I learned - giving isn't easy.
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